Here’s a good story for our changing times. I recently went into a coffeehouse that I hadn’t been in for a while, and when I walked up to the counter, a tall young barista immediately waved and said, “Hi Ralph!” I paused as I quickly scanned my memory banks for who this person might be. “Erin???” I asked tentatively. “WOW,” I added, “you’ve changed your look!” “Yeah, big time,” Erin responded.  And to that I replied, “Well you look great!” But here’s the backstory behind this friendly exchange at the service counter. When I said “Wow, you’ve changed your look”, I wasn’t just referring to the new short haircut. No, when I first met Erin, she appeared to be a biological male transitioning to female. I made this assumption because even though she was more or less dressing as a woman, she was also quite tall for a woman and had fairly masculine features and a slightly lower voice. Likewise, I assumed that Erin’s birthname might actually be Aaron since people transitioning often hang on to their birthname but tweak it so that it matches their identity and presenting gender. But this time, Erin looked quite buff and butch and very male, and from the name tag, I could see that Erin was now going by Zach. So at this point, I wasn’t sure which biological sex Erin/Zach was actually born with. Was the Erin I met 8 months ago now tranisitioning back to male? Or had I misread things ― could Erin have been a female transitioning to male when we first met, and I was now just seeing the transition at a more complete stage? I actually don’t know, and I certainly wasn’t going to ask! But because of the confusion, I noticed myself trying to figure it out ― unsuccessfully! Yeah, in the end, I just decided it didn’t really matter because he/she/they had always presented themselves as a kind and friendly person who was just trying to live their life and identity as truthfully as possible. Clearly, our world is undergoing some big cultural shifts, and it can be particularly hard for us Boomers/GenXers to keep up with the changing times. This includes keeping up with the moving parameters around gender identity and how it gets expressed through fashion and masc-fem style, or even phsically affirmed through hormonal treatments and surgeries. I’m still not sure where this is all going to land, but in the meantime, I’m just trying to stay open and curious about it. Yeah, I might have to stop in at that coffeehouse again in a few months just to say hi to Zach and to see where their gender-journey has led them. ―RW